The most difficult decision I've ever made, so far

There are, generally speaking, three types of special needs parents. The first type are the extreme optimists, the movers and shakers, the ones that leave no stone unturned and spare no expense to get as close to a cure as they can for their child, and to help their child achieve his or her potential to the max. They don't factor in the toll it takes on their family, their finances, or their own sanity; their disabled child is foremost in their lives and takes precedence over anything else. I'll call this type "A". At the total opposite end, you have "C", the ones who are extreme realists; they know that there is no real 'cure' for their child's disability and they don't want caring for their child to impact their family severely. These parents don't exert themselves too much for their child; they get as much help as they can, sending their child to every respite program, summer camp, send their child to the cheapest/free school program, even if their child will not make progress there. Their sole aim is to keep their child comfortable and happy while trying to continue their lives as smoothly as possible. They don't want the rest of their children to suffer too much, and/or they are not capable emotionally and financially of throwing themselves into the width and breadth of focusing on this one child at the expense of the family's general sanity. Then you have the "middle of the road" kind of parents; the ones who do extensive research into their child's disability and try many different things, but they are realistic about the impact it has on their family and on their financial and emotional resources and don't overextend themselves to the point where it affects their lives into exhaustion and depletion. I'll call this type "B".

I have come across many As, Bs, and Cs even before Dovi's diagnosis. I have found that most special needs families start out as Bs, and eventually the toll on their family is too much and they slide into Type C just to survive. I've also met a few As; the chidren of A families are the ones who go the farthest, but many type A families eventually crumble and must slip into B or even C mode - especially if their child does not end up making as much progress as they had hoped.