Mazel Tov! It's a 3 yr old! Thoughts on Birthdays and Missed Milestones

When I initially started writing this blog, I wanted it to be religion-neutral and appeal to a broad spectrum of readers, especially other autism moms. I’ve seen other friends do it and manage to keep their lives anonymous and attract thousands of readers. But as it turned out it was nearly impossible, as this is a very ‘personal’ kind of blog and my lifestyle creeps into every post more or less. You’ll notice I’m keeping the names of the people involved in my life extremely culture-neutral but not “out there”. However, I still think that no matter your affiliation or denomination, if you’re dealing with special needs you can relate to this blog, cultural background notwithstanding.

I prefaced this post with the preceding paragraph because I’m about to talk about something that’s relatable across the board even though I’m discussing one specific milestone: that of a Jewish boy turning 3. If you’re not Jewish yourself, or you don’t do the ‘first haircut and trip to cheder (Jewish preschool)’ custom, you can still relate to this post, because reaching birthdays while missing milestones is a big bittersweet, lump-in-your-throat tears-in-your-eyes hurdle for any special needs parent.

(I will just provide a small glossary for unfamiliar terms. Upsherin = the haircutting ceremony. Kappel = the headcovering. Payos = the sidecurls. Hopefully this is enough context to understand the entire post.)

Res Hab: A Mixed Blessing

As Dovi's ADHD became more pronounced, life became harder and harder. I could no longer go anywhere with him - he immediately bolted from his stroller and ran off to who-knows-where. Taking him shopping became a nightmare. I remember one Sunday at the local butcher/take out; I was waiting in line for so long, that Dovi kept escaping the stroller and I kept strapping him in. The stroller overturned every time he jumped out, since it was laden down with packages, and I had to leave the stroller like that and chase after Dovi down the street. I put him into the stroller with maybe some more force than necessary, out of sheer frustration, and a gentleman in the store looked at me askance. I burst into tears and explained that he had special needs, and all I wanted to do was pay for my food and get out of there! I could simply no longer go out shopping on Sundays; but Sunday was my food replenishing day and I was stuck.

In May I got the long awaited phone call from Jenna, my Medicaid Services Coordinator; my request for res hab (known today as Community Hab, but I will continue calling it Res Hab, which is short for Residential Habitation) was approved by the Department of People with Developmental Disabilities. I would be active as of June 1, and could start looking for counselors.

YAY!!!!!!!!

and

YOY.

Bed Tent Saga Part Two

It's storytelling time again. Time again for another story of Divine Providence and just all around incredible Heavenly Love. Oh, and also, it's the Bed Tent Saga part 2 and hopefully the last part forever.

Many many many many years ago, before I had children, I ran a web site. Actually, a few web sites. A bunch of yahoo groups. One was for Jewish Music fans. One was for Miami Boys Choir fans. One was for lovers of Judaica novels. As you can see, the writing bug bit me the moment I was born. I was a blogger even back then. But anyway. I digress.

The very second person to sign up for one of these groups - I'll leave it deliberately vague to protect their privacy - was a really nice single guy. He was very active in the group and helped bring it off the ground. The group was very close knit then, and we were very excited when he got engaged. We met him and his kallah at a concert, and we even went to his wedding. It was a pretty cute time in my life... we met all kinds of interesting people back then.

Fast forward many many years. The groups disbanded. I lost touch with him and his wife. Then 2 years ago Dovi got diagnosed. I joind an online group for special needs parents. And there, in the group, to my shock, was this sweet lady we had met years ago. She was dealing with a special needs child too.

So we hooked up again, after many years. She had some connections and ideas for me and was supremely helpful. (That's how it works in this 'biz' - NETWORKING!)

It's that time of the month again... Donation Begging Time :(

I hate to do this. I really do. I feel like a class A Shnorrer (beggar).

But readers, the donations to the Dovi Educational Fund have ground to a halt.

I haven't sold a single item on amazon, and I haven't had time to put up stuff on ebay.

My google adsense earnings this month are very low too.

I'm getting kinda anxious! All the channels of chump change to add to Dovi's fund seem to have petered out. Pretty soon I will have to retain the lawyer so I can fight my way to get Dovi's schooling reimbursed and I don't even have enough to pay HALF of her retainer, never mind a dime for the actual tuition.

So I'm down on my knees, begging.

If you haven't yet made a donation to Dovi's fund, and you can afford to do so, please do. Even $5.00 helps.

You can't even imagine how much I will appreciate this. There are no words to express.

I hate writing posts like these, but sometimes they're simply necessary. :(